Men dating little boys
Before Noah, I had very little experience with children. At 33, I haven't yet decided against children, but I can't picture having them, either. (Mostly for my mom.) I've just never been a person who sees a baby and reaches for it. Home for the holidays, I'll lie about and let my mom whip up grilled cheese and stitch loose buttons, while my dad busies himself fixing the rattle in my car. This has seemed to satisfy any maternal instincts I might have. Even in adulthood, I still settle back into childhood whenever I'm so indulged.It barely grazed his cheek, but we both burst into tears. But there are also Saturdays when my primary urge is to take off for a day of yoga, shopping, a manicure and lunch with my girlfriends, or to lie in bed all day and read.Later, following a lesson about how it's not OK for anyone, even adults, to throw food (or anything else) at another person, we managed to have a laugh. In many ways, it's why I've remained so emotionally hands-off. I can enjoy his presence, but I don't miss him when he's gone. As he grows, his feelings about his parents, his home life and me will change. But I don't want to be someone I'm not; I don't want to have to conform to another's expectations or play nice. That's a job as a nanny or, at the very least, a one-way street.On his birthday, he unwrapped the gift I gave him, threw it on the floor and said, "I've already got one of these at Mommy's house." (He didn't.) Meanwhile, he opened the third Star Wars lightsaber of the evening with as much joy and gratitude as he had the first. No one—not my parents, my friends, anyone I've ever been in charge of in a professional capacity, nor the guy in front of me at the red light—would describe me as patient, and being around Noah without some sort of freak-out often requires me to become a person I am not. On the summer day Noah begged and pleaded for cottage cheese and then refused to eat from the container I'd opened—"I want Daddy to do it! Most days, I'm positive my ambivalence along with my failure to act like a mature adult will eventually cause me to destroy what is otherwise the most fulfilling, caring and adult relationship I've ever had." he cried over and over—I took a spoonful of the stuff and hurled it at him. There are nights when I'll read Noah a book before bed or help Bob pack his schoolbag.It feels like a judgment against someone else's parenting skills—and I'm not sure either Bob or his ex thinks I have the right to an opinion. I argue that Bob is too lenient with Noah; Bob argues back—informing me that I'm impatient, inflexible, conservative and a bit of a schoolmarm.
We all moved in together a year ago—Bob and I full-time, Noah every other weekend and Wednesdays overnight.Mommy shows up in conversation whenever I try to do something nice for him.The squeezable applesauce I picked up at Whole Foods? Bob and I have explained to Noah that I'm not Mommy, but I can still be his friend.Like Oath, our partners may also show you ads that they think match your interests.Learn more about how Oath collects and uses data and how our partners collect and use data.