How does a dad deal with a dating dauaghter
If you talk to some Christian dads of daughters, you’d think every young man was a drug lord, pimp, or terrorist. Dad might have the perception that every man is a walking caricature of the most discouraging trends today: laziness, selfishness, sexual immorality, entitlement, and worse.
dad might have an unbalanced or unfair standard: the guy who graduated top of his class at the age of eleven, started his own business, built the brand-new building for his church, and single-handedly rescued a third-world country from a corrupt regime (or something like that).
It actually makes for a dangerous situation because God means for spiritual headship and leadership to be a more seamless handoff, not this disjointed affair that leaves the young woman spiritually and emotionally uncovered from age fifteen until her wedding day.
We’ve relegated dads to a last-minute interview before engagement when God meant for them to be active, available agents of wisdom and safekeeping. Foolish dads relish the gun-bearing, tough-guy role.
Dad might unfairly be expecting a lifetime of wisdom, maturity, independence, or faith from a twentysomething.
Either way, fathers need to hear that there are lots of young men who have believed the gospel, have been rescued from much of the worldliness around them, are demonstrating trajectories of the fruit of the Spirit, but are still immature.
The moment is a mountain to overcome in almost any relationship, but I believe it’s a mountain we, as Christians, can capture for the good of the daughter, the suitor, and the father.
But it would be dangerous for you to spend at least a little time investing in him, naming areas of need in his life and development, and then providing some appropriate support to him in his growth (even if his immaturities mean he can’t date your daughter right now). And remember that your home is probably the safest place for them to get to know each other, rather than out and about on their own without loving boundaries and accountability.
If discipleship — or “dating” your daughter’s boyfriend — sounds like it might be a more effective method than what you’ve tried (or intended to try), here are six pieces of counsel for engaging young men interested in your little girl.
I think most men wait for the suitor to come knocking, asking for the daughter’s hand in marriage. There are too many blessings to be had before she’s a fiancée.
The wise dads relish the opportunity to develop a real, intentional, grace-and-truth relationship with the man who might be tasked with caring for their daughter for the rest of her life.
In the first pages of Scripture, we find that great love story of Isaac and Rebekah.