Dating a former anorexic
Yet our first-world culture is obsessed with talking about body image, weight, workouts, and what we ate on Wednesday.I challenge you to find one office kitchen in the United States in which coworkers don’t spend their lunch hours commiserating over the last five pounds while eating stale cookies from yesterday’s meeting.Eating disorders are mental illnesses, and some of the depressive, anxiety-ridden, or obsessive thoughts or behaviors may persist even after recovery.As a partner, you need to be prepared for rough days.However, you can learn to express your excitement by channeling that energy into something you can do together, like a movie night or a trip to a karaoke bar.
But if you’re a heavy drinker, and you to date a recovered alcoholic, you learn to stop suggesting dates at the wine bar.
That said, it doesn’t get you off the hook if your partner has disclosed an eating disorder to you.
Think about it this way: Casually talking about your diet, your weight, or your workouts can be as triggering to an eating disordered partner as casually telling a rape joke in front of a partner who has been raped or sexually assaulted (and I’m going to make the bold assumption that you’re not the kind of person who thinks it’s a good idea to casually make rape jokes in the first place).
Treat your recovered or recovering partner the same: Honor the illness for what it is, offer what support you can , and give them time to feel the feelings.
In recovery, your partner will hopefully have learned coping skills and/or developed a support system.